Why We Don't Hear Others
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Why We Don't Hear Others
| If you want to listen so you really hear what others say, make sure you're not a: |
| Mind reader |
You'll hear little or nothing as you think, "What is this person really thinking or feeling?" |
| Rehearser |
Your mental tryouts for "Here's what I'll say next" tune out the speaker. |
| Filterer |
Some call this selective listening-hearing only what you want to hear. |
| Dreamer |
Drifting off during a face-to-face conversation can lead to an embarrassing "What did you say?" or "Could you repeat that?" |
| Identifier |
If you refer everything you hear to your experience, you probably didn't really hear what was said. |
| Comparer |
When you get sidetracked assessing the messenger, you're sure to miss the message. |
| Derailer |
Changing the subject too quickly soon tells others you're not interested in anything they have to say. |
| Sparrer |
You hear what's said but quickly belittle it or discount it. That puts you in the same class as the derailer. |
| Placater |
Agreeing with everything you hear just to be nice or to avoid conflict does not mean you're a good listener. |
Source: The Writing Lab, Department of English, Purdue University, 1356 Heavilon Hall, West Lafayette, IN 47907.
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